Welp, I survived (barely) my first week back to work! The morning of my first day back, I dropped both Boogie and Nugget off at my in-laws and I am proud to say that I didn’t cry! (though I did a little the night before haha) I have to say, I felt nervous on my way to work, which seems dumb since I’ve worked there for so long, but I was. But once I walked into the doors, I was happy to be back (I even made it to work early!). It was nice to be around adults, wear normal pants (though I will still argue leggings ARE pants!) and not be covered in baby puke. I work with a wonderful group of people who made the transition easy for me. My employer also has a mother’s room so I have a private place to pump. All in all I felt confident about going back to being a full time working mom. And then Tuesday happened…..
Day 2: At 7:47AM I texted my husband that I was “So ******* over today.” Boogie whined the WHOLE car ride for no apparent reason, I got cut off by a semi on the freeway and was running late. I used a certain 4 letter word more times than I can count as I texted back and forth to my husband (once I got to work) how much I just wanted to go home. I didn’t feel capable of being able to balance everything on my plate. So that was Tuesday.
Day 3: I was just about to leave in the morning when Nugget spit up all over himself. Like all over. So I had to take him out, change everything and pray that it didn’t happen again as I put him back into his seat to leave. Thankfully, it was Wednesday so Hubby took the kids to my in-laws so it gave me some extra time in the morning. I got to work on time only to realize I couldn’t find my badge. I figured I left it in my other coat so I got a temporary badge for the day. Where did it end up being? In my lunch bag…THE WHOLE TIME!!! *sigh*
Day 4: Legit as I was putting Boogie’s poncho on, Nugget pooped…a lot…in his diaper. I didn’t want to leave him sitting in it (even though it was a 30 minute car ride) because if he stayed asleep when I got to my in-laws, I didn’t want him to sit in it. So hubby took him out to change him because, I of course, am freaking out that I need to leave. So Nugget decided to help that and have a massive blow out in between diaper changes. Like all over hubby, the carpet, his clothes and blankets. Everywhere. I texted my boss and just said, “I’m gonna be late!”
Day 5: Well I made it to Friday and I felt accomplished because I actually made it on time. But I felt like crap because of my sinuses. The weather that week had been so up and down, that my head felt like it was going to explode. As the day went on, I continued to feel worse. By the afternoon I was throwing up, had the chills, massive headache and wanted to die. I left work early, got the kids and headed home. I wanted to cry with how terrible I felt and poor Boogie threw up on our way home. What was going on with my life?! So I cried and just prayed we could make it home in one piece. When I got home, Hubby took Boogie’s temp and it was 103. I felt so helpless because she wasn’t feeling well (which we realized was due to her 2 year molars coming in) and I was so sick myself that I couldn’t help. Hubby told me to go right to bed and that he had everything under control. I felt so much guilt but I knew I needed to lay down for at least a little bit.
At 6:00pm, I walked into our bedroom to find that Hubby had cleaned our room, put clean, cool sheets on the bed, he had a bucket and wash cloth on the bed also and had the diffuser going with an essential oil blend to help me. I cried because he thought of everything and it meant so much to me. As I laid down and waited to fall asleep I could hear him running a bath for Boogie to get her all cleaned up and put to bed and singing with her. The last thought I had that evening was, “How did I get so lucky?” I woke up around 1:00am and couldn’t believe how long I had slept. Everyone was asleep so I pumped real quick and went back to bed. I slept until 8:30am and woke up feeling a million times better! Boogie’s fever had broke and you could tell she was feeling better, though the first thing she said to me in the morning was “Momma, teeth.” Darn molars. Hubby got ready with Monkey to go to Monkey’s Pine Wood Derby race and I planned on meeting up with them in a little bit with the younger ones.
After they left the house, I looked around my house and saw how much of a disaster it was. I mean stuff everywhere. Normally, this would drive my anxiety through the roof but it didn’t. Instead it brought me to tears because….
While most people would have seen a pile of toddler clothes and a dirty diaper on the bathroom floor, I saw a husband and father who took the time to run his daughter a bath to help bring her fever down and relax her before bed so she could get a good nights sleep.
While most people would see a sink full of dirty dishes and take out containers, I saw a husband and father who was resourceful and ordered take out for him and his oldest son, had it delivered and had dinner with his son.
While most people would see a cluttered table, I saw a husband and father who spent time with his oldest son, building Pine Wood Derby Cars together and showing his son how to build with his hands. I saw special father and son moments. While most people would see a messy basement, I saw a husband and father who took care of his infant son, fed him, burped him and changed him during the night. I saw a husband and a father put all of his needs aside to take care of his family, not once complaining. 
While walking up the basement steps, I saw his work boots in front of the back door. While most people would see dirty work boots in the way, I saw boots worn by a man who works hard. Who never gives up. Who loves with everything in him. Who always makes sure his family is taken care of, even if that means having to work at some unpleasant places. (which he has, believe me) Who always reminds me that I am loved, wanted and needed. 
Many times I get caught up in my anxiety and stress that I don’t tell him often enough how much I appreciate how hard he works, how much respect I have for him as a person and as my husband and how I really don’t know what I would do without him. So as I come to the end of my second week back to work, I am reminded that I am not doing this alone. My hubby is there with me every morning, helping with the kids, packing lunches and loading up the car. He’s there when I get home to unload the car and kids, help with baths, dinner and everything else that comes with having a home and a family. I don’t know how I got so lucky to be married to him but I thank God everyday for the wonderful man I get to do life with. My superman.