When I first heard of the coronavirus, it was only in China and I didn’t think too much of it. When my husband suggested we stock up on some essentials, I thought we might be a little crazy, but I figured we didn’t have anything to lose. If anything, we wouldn’t have to go to the store for a bit. Fast forward several weeks later and we are on day “I don’t know anymore” of being stuck in our home.
When COVID-19 started coming to the states and had a couple cases in Michigan, I started wondering what would happen if they closed the schools. I started thinking of what we could do while we were home. And then the schools closed and I felt like all hell broke loose in our home. My husband’s work was next so now all 5 of us are in our home, with pretty much nowhere to go.
As soon as the schools in Michigan closed, a lot of my friends on Facebook were posting things they were doing with their kids. Fun activities and schoolwork that was being done. Now I was homeschooled growing up and while I believe my parents chose homeschooling because they believed that was best for their family, it is not something that I have chosen for my family. I don’t have anything against homeschooling and I can see the benefits of it, but it personally is not something that my husband and I have chosen for our family and I will leave it at that. So with all of the cancellations and closings of pretty much everything, I have found our household has turned into absolute chaos. I look at the friends on Facebook and wonder what is wrong with me.
While I have friends who are doing homework and school activities, we are having movie marathons, taking naps, and having more TV marathons. My brain is on overdrive with what is going on in the world and I am struggling to get out of bed some mornings, let alone plan and execute school lessons. This plays into the thoughts of, “I’m not a good enough mom” or “I’m a bad mom”.
Now deep down, I know this isn’t true. I also recognize that it honestly has only been 5 days since we have stayed home and we still have at least a month of this, so in reality, having movie marathons for a few days is not really that bad.
I know there is a lot of fear out there right now and a lot of uncertainty. My anxiety is at an all time high and not knowing which side is up right now is not helping at all. I am allowing myself grace this week while we find a new normal of being confined to our home. I also hope that we can use this time to grow closer as a family instead of further apart and even more so, grow closer to God during this time. I know that it can be hard to trust that God is there in the midst of fear, but I am using any time I have to draw closer to Him and believe that He has His hand in all of this scariness.
So if you are like me and feeling like a failure with this mom thing and homeschooling adventure, believe me when I say, you are not failing. Homeschooling and teaching is not for everyone. I have such mad respect for teachers because I barely have the tolerance to chaperone a field trip. And that is okay. We were all created with different gifts and that is what makes us all special and unique. I was not created with the gift of teaching and during this time, I am asking God for a little extra patience so this quarantine is not one that is full of stress and anger, but of love and joy. So give yourself some grace and if you don’t do full lesson plans everyday, it’s okay. We’ve never seen anything like this before so we are doing the best that we can and I guarantee you, that is all are kids want from us.
“The Lord himself will go before you. He will be with you. He will not leave you or forget you. Don’t be afraid. Don’t worry.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (ICB)