Miss Crabby Pants

I debated the last couple days whether or not I should write a new blog post because I haven’t felt like myself. I’ve been crabby, moody and irritable and no I am not pregnant and it’s not that time of the month. (Because I know that is what some of you are thinking haha) Part is my body still adjusting to no medication (It’s been 31 days…woo hoo!) and part is me being both physically and mentally exhausted, annoyed with certain aspects of my life and just plain worn out. I feel like I can’t catch up no matter how hard I try and it seems that when I am starting to make some sort of progress, crap hits the fan and I fall back 87 steps. This past week I have felt a wide range of emotions and trying to piece it all together is like trying to put together a giant puzzle with 3,573 pieces and most of them looking the same. The more you stare at it and try to figure it out, the more it blends together into one big blob and frustrates you to no end.

That’s how life has been and I’ve had many talks with God about what He is doing. I told my husband today that I wish at times God would be more obvious and direct with what He is doing and what

direction He wants me to go in instead of feeling like I am playing a guessing game of ‘What door does God want me to walk through?’ I am a skeptic by nature, which I tend to believe that it’s human nature to be somewhat skeptic. I think some people are more skeptic than others and I am one of them. I am always second guessing myself, those closest to me and yes, even God. But I can’t help it. I catch myself at times and it’s like, ughhhhh what are you seconding guessing this for?! But despite my second guessing and skeptic tendencies, I still have this gut-wrenching calling that I know God is moving me towards but I need to be still and patient, because timing is key. His timing is perfect.

Another reason I decided to post tonight, is that I think it’s important for me to be real and honest, no matter my moods. Not that I haven’t been honest in my posts, because everything I write is purely from my heart. But I think it’s okay to put it out there that “Hey! Life kind of blows at the moment!” because I know I am not the only one who has felt like this. I know for myself, especially when I am having a rougher time, it’s nice to read or hear from someone that is going through what I am going through. It’s a comfort knowing that I am not the only Christ follower who is having a down moment. So I am putting it out there tonight so someone else who may be feeling the same, doesn’t feel so alone. You are not alone!

So after staring at this giant life puzzle for the past couple days, I will walk away, take a break, try to breath and re-group with God and try again tomorrow. But for now, I will finish wallowing in my crabbiness and this glass of wine because sometimes, it’s okay to be crabby. And wine, because, why not?