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Love and Respect

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It’s been almost 7 years since one of my friends said to me, “Hey, you should meet my friend R!” to which I replied, “No thanks!” It had been 8 months since I had gotten out of a 2 year not-so-great relationship and I had no interest in dating or starting a relationship. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel like I “needed” anyone, I was content and confident being a single woman with a child. I had recently graduated college, was working full time and loved my job and I loved being a mom to a then 3 year old Monkey. I had plans to move Monkey and myself into a place of our own and I truly believed that it was going to be the two of us. Us against the world. But God had other plans and it came in the form of my friend’s non stop nagging to meet this great friend of hers.

I couldn’t tell you how many times she said I needed to meet him. I should’ve kept track. I also should’ve kept track of all of the times I told her I would come out and meet them, only to cancel on them while they were waiting at said place. I honestly had no desire to meet him. I flat out told her, “If he is so great, why don’t you date him!” I didn’t want to waste his time and I certainly didn’t want to waste my time. But after what seemed like forever, I finally caved and agreed to meet him. My friend and a group of her friends were at a brewery one weekend to watch another mutual friends band. I remember walking up and seeing her standing outside with him (I knew what he looked like because I did what any normal person would do, I stalked him on Facebook. Ha!) and he was smoking a cigarette. NEXT! I honestly wrote him off right then and there because I didn’t want to date a smoker. A friend of mine had joined that evening so I wasn’t completely alone in the awkwardness of knowing no one else. My friend introduced us and we said “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” and went inside. There was a lot of people in our group and the music was loud so we weren’t able to talk at all. But not going to lie, I was totally attracted to him, so I kind of was intrigued. After the night was over, we said “Bye, it was nice to meet you.” and we went our separate ways. Because of the night’s circumstances, he had to give his number to my friend, who gave it to me and told me to text him if I wanted. So I did and the rest is history.

This guy that I had written off from first glance, turned out to be the absolute love of my life. We fell in love fast and hard. The sight of him gave me instant butterflies. I loved spending time with him and he was amazing with Monkey. As amazing as it was, we had our moments and for a brief time, we weren’t together. It was absolute heartbreak. The kind where you are in so much pain that you physically can’t breathe. I remember crying on the bathroom floor because I couldn’t imagine life without him and yet was faced with life without him. I didn’t eat for days and one afternoon my best friend forced me to come over her house where she wouldn’t let me leave until I ate the pizza rolls and chicken nuggets she made for me. But unknowingly to me, God was working in both of our lives while we were apart. And after what seemed like an eternity, we found our way back to each other.

So almost 7 years later here we are, married with 2 additional babies and doing life together, stronger than ever. My husband is the most incredible man I have ever known. He is the true definition of what it means to be a God-fearing, hard working and self-sacrificing man. He has never given up, never stops working hard and I have no doubt in my mind that he would move Heaven and earth for me and our kids. Our relationship and marriage has not been easy in the least bit. If you have followed my journey at all, you know the last couple years have been scary, hard and at times, almost came to an end for me. Through out the last couple years while I was sick and even before that when things were great, I have never doubted his love for me. Though I wonder all the time, why me. I don’t know why or how I have been so blessed to do life with him. I have never seen a man care for and love on his family like my husband does. I pray that one day our daughter will find a man like him and that our sons will follow his example.

I know I have many, many days where I haven’t been the best partner to my husband. There have been days where I have been cold and cruel. He has been my punching bag and he doesn’t deserve it. He deserves the best. He deserves to know how much I value, love, respect, need and want him. So on his birthday today, as we celebrate the amazing person he is, I hope that he knows despite my flaws, that he is and always will be the love of my life.

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