It has been 12 1/2 weeks since our basement flooded and we are still, as of now, 8 days away from final completion. It has been a non stop nightmare of problem after problem and at this point, I don’t care anymore. It will get done when it gets done. With the whole unexpected project coming to an end, it has me reflecting on the last 4 years that we have spent here in this house. We bought our home in October of 2012 after almost 2 years of dating when we were ready to take our relationship to the next step. It hasn’t been the easiest as being a home owner means owning a never ending money pit. But it’s ours. We have been through a lot over the last 4 years in our home and it’s made me realize how much our home has seen just with us. It makes me wonder what our home has seen since it was built over 60 years ago. It has me wondering about all the other stories the homes in the neighborhood would share if they could. So many different homes, places and buildings and the stories and secrets they hold on to.
If walls could talk they would tell you of the woman who never feels enough no matter how hard she tries her best. The wife who feels so disconnected from her husband because she feels she has to compete with his work, his friends and his phone and instead of saying anything, she says nothing. The mom who cries herself to sleep almost every night because she thinks she is doing it all wrong and will never get it right. The working mom who cries at the thought of every school function she is missing or every snack and episode of Mickey Mouse she is missing with her toddler because she has to work. The mom who feels she can never compete with the other moms who can give their kids what they want, their time and focus and she is barely hanging on to vacuum the floor and check homework. If walls could talk they would tell you of the tears, the pain, the lies, the loneliness and isolation that no one else can see. They would share how well these women put a smile on their face that shows they have it all together, when they’re really falling apart. They would scream she’s lying when she responds with the answer “I’m fine.” Because if walls could talk, they would tell the truth.
If walls could talk they would also tell you of the joy that has come from game and movie nights as a family. Belly whopper laughs from being tickled by the tickle monster. Excitement over a good report card or a toddler’s first steps. The walls would share the truth that it doesn’t matter how clean your home is, if the laundry is folded or if your having pizza again for dinner because what is important is relishing in the time you do have together, no matter how far and in between it comes. We all having feelings of inadequacy, that we are doing it all wrong and will never get it right. But we are doing it right, the best way we know how.
4 years ago when we bought our home, we didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into. It has been a learning and growing experience. The biggest thing I have learned is that this home wasn’t and isn’t perfect, but it’s ours. <3