Well I had every intention of writing on the day Nugget was 1 month old and that never happened. Actually, I had every intention of writing weekly blog posts but you all can see how that DIDN’T happen. Every idea, thought and plan I had concocted in my brain on how I thought things were going to go went down the toilet the minute we stepped foot into our home with our newest little bundle.
WELCOME TO THE 4TH TRIMESTER! The trimester no one talks about but flipping should because guess what I have been doing the last almost 7 weeks?!? Surviving. Yes, I mean it when I say surviving, because quite frankly, that’s what I feel like I have been doing every day: surviving.
For those of you who don’t follow me on Instagram (where I tend to post) we welcomed a beautiful little boy on November 3rd. He was a tiny peanut coming in at 5lbs 6oz and measuring at 20 inches long. But he was perfectly healthy and perfectly ours. My c-section went well and I have healed a lot better this time around verses my c-section with Monkey and Boogie, so I am thankful for that.
From day 1, Nugget has been such a blessing and a great baby. He latched on shortly after birth and was able to nurse, which made my heart melt. We encountered some issues in the beginning but after visiting with a lactation consultant and his pediatrician, we were able to quickly resolve them. He was sleeping for 4-6 hour stretches through out the night, which has been helpful! The last several weeks we encountered our first (of many) growth spurts so cue the cluster feedings and sleepless nights. Many of those nights I have found myself living in a daze during the day, not knowing what day it is or what is going on. I found myself drowning in house work, piles of laundry, homework assignments, cub scout things to keep track of, balancing the checkbooks and trying to find time to pee and hopefully shower all while being puked and peed on through out the day, so I am sure I smell fantastic by the time hubby gets home from work.
I’m the first to admit I am a control freak and very OCD. I live by my planner and organization helps me stay sane. Before Nugget was born, I had it all in my mind how things were going to go. I was going to have a daily plan and it was going to work one way or another. And guess what I have found out with this first month? I was freaking nuts if I thought that was going to happen! I’ve come to learn that you just can’t have expectations when you have a child in school, a toddler (judging by her attitude, she is going on 13 by the way) and an infant. I’ve had to cancel plans because of a call from the school about a sick 4th grader, a sassy toddler who refuses to put pants on and a cluster feeding infant who does not and will not leave my boobs. Many days…heck, I’ll be honest, pretty much every day I am crying about something. Usually it’s by the end of the day but quite frankly, I’ve had more days than I would like to admit that I have started the day in tears.
It was just within the last week that I first heard about the 4th trimester, a.k.a the first 12 weeks after birth. I was so intrigued when I heard this. The woman who was talking about it was describing how the first 12 weeks after birth are an adjustment period not just for mom but baby too. It was like a lightbulb went off, like DUH! Nugget is trying to figure out his new life outside my womb too. I wish the 4th trimester was talked about more. That it’s okay to not have your crap in order 5 minutes after getting home from the hospital. Heck, I am going on 7 weeks and every day has no agenda and I plan things by the seat of my pants (totally not like me at all!) It makes me nervous since I will being going back to work in 5 weeks and that will absolutely require proper planning and execution. But then again, I have 5 weeks to figure it all out.
So until then, I will do my best to live every day in the present moment no matter how many tears it takes to get through these sometimes long days. Because as difficult and challenging as motherhood can be, I know that the years are short and before I know it, I will blink and my babies won’t be babies anymore. So try to enjoy every moment you have with your kids but also remember, it’s OKAY to not love every moment.